Same thing, every year…
There’s something so inviting about using the New Year as a sort of reset button for the outgoing year. All the bad habits we mean to get rid of, all the new hobbies, new adventures we’re going to get in to and start. January 1st is about as hard a stop as you can ask for. A new year, a new me! every… single… year.
So why do we even bother? Mostly because we just want to better ourselves. Whether it’s moving the extra couple of kilos that have snuck on this year, quitting smoking or something like going on a few more hikes and bingeing less telly, we just want to improve our life one way or another.
We get the most motivation we’ve had all year just after Christmas, we’re full of food and drink and generally pretty good cheer and we tell ourselves “why not?”.
What do we want to change?
All of our resolutions tend to fall in to just a couple of broad categories. Health, Self Improvement, Money and Family. All are pretty decent areas to focus on and about 50% of us really want to have a go at improving one or more of these things in our life.
Unfortunately only about 10% of us follow through. It’s a big enough phenomenon that we, as a species have actually dedicated a whole day to it. January 17th is “Resolution Ditch Day”. We’re actually so committed in our non-commitment that we even have a deadline for failure.
Health
Generally losing a bit of weight and hitting the gym more. Easing up on the drinking, smoking and fatty foods. The diet books and blogs start coming out again and we start loosely planning on going for a few walks with old friends or joining a sports club.
Self Improvement
We all want to “grow” and build ourselves and be the best us, Otherwise we wouldn’t bother making plans to change. It’s all about reading more books, getting up earlier, sleeping more. We want to learn a new skill or find a new hobby.
Money
The most wished for thing on the planet. The be all and end all of our pursuit of happiness on earth. Cold hard cash. We want better jobs and more money.
Family
Funnily enough the things that are most important to us, are actually one of the last things we set goals for. We want to start families, do more with our partners, spend more time with the kids and extended family. Most of us forget to spend the quality time in this area for the better part of the year chasing abs, fishing and working all hours for extra pay, then regret it and try and “be better” next year.
Why do we fail?
Prettt simple answer. Good things take time and hard work.
Thats honestly all there is to it. We set ourselves some borderline realistic goals, not really aligned with our real wants and needs in life. We don’t put the actual time and effort in to making those goals a reality and end up putting it all in the too hard basket.
There are a few pretty common sayings about hard work like “10,000 hours to perfect a skill” or “21 days to make/break a habit”. Now l, the reason they are common phrases is because they’re true. Its not easy getting rock hard abs, ask anyone who has them. Its not easy quitting smoking, ask anyone who’s trying or has given up. They’re big achievements that could only have been accomplished with little wins every day.
The problem with us giving up on our resolutions is that its actually our fault we fail. Then we beat ourselves up, lose all motivation and go straight back to the chocolate and beer, then, next year we do the same thing again. So how do we break the cycle?
Plan to succeed!
Every successful business on the planet sets goals using some variation of the SMART chart – Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant & Time-bound. Without any direction or accountability, you’re going to fail.
1. Set realistic goals
Be realistic… seriously. If your goal is to save for a house deposit this year, say $20,000. And you only earn $40,000 a year. You will struggle to hit that target because you won’t be able to save 50c on every $1 you make without making drastic cuts in your standard of living. That’s not to say it’s impossible, it’s actually very doable, you just need to be aware of your own willpower, needs and potential set backs.
2. Set relevant goals
I’ve always wanted a boat, and I could say one year that my new years resolution is to buy a boat and go fishing more. That’s a lovely vision, but I get sea sick so fast and really don’t have the time with a young family to spend my days off on the water fishing. It’s just not really relevant to my life now. What I do need to do is lose a couple of kilos… I can easily tie in a walk in the afternoon with the kids with my goal of losing a bit of weight. It’s relevant to my life, now.
3. Hold yourself accountable
There’s no point in setting a resolution for yourself and not having consequences when you don’t stick to it. Are you able to hold yourself accountable? or do you need to have an accountability buddy? A friend or partner or work colleague that wants to achieve a goal too, that you can check in with and keep each other on the right path.
That being said, being accountable and beating yourself up are two very different things. DON’T cut your head off because you caved and had one cigarette at a party a month in, don’t give up because you at a pint of ice cream and watched 4 hours of tv one sunday night after a long week. DON’T be hard on yourself for one slip, when you’ve been on track 90% of the time. Celebrate the daily wins.
Resolution?
Every summit has a first step, every painting has a first stroke. New Years resolutions might be a bit of a joke to most people, setting out in to the new year with good intentions to make yourself a better you.
This year stick to it! If you’ve sipped up already… so what? Reset. Start again. Try a different approach and move ahead.
Progress, not perfection, achieves goals.
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